Not many people know that in one of my previous existences, I was a flight attendant for a major airline. I learned so much about being a passenger in those days: how to eat, drink and generally have a merrier travel experience.
Here is my approach to personally upgrading flying. A word: these flight hacks are great for domestic and overseas flights, but all bets are off when travelling to the U.S. as they are much stricter with their dos and don鈥檛s.
When preparing for your journey, pack an adult portable coffee mug. I like to call it the grown-up sippy cup. Reduce spills and waste, but moreover, increase the quantity of the tea or coffee that the flight attendants give you from the tablespoon in the provided plastic thimble. You can also bring your own teabags and ask them to add hot water.
Bring a refillable water bottle. Keep it empty when you move through security and keep it full in flight. Flying is wildly dehydrating, and you will get a lot of water support from the crew if you bring your own vessel.
For food, as soon as you get to the airport, your options for healthy, fresh, delicious rations diminishes significantly. Pack a snack bag full of sliced cheeses, cubed dry salami, sliced fruits, prepared bean salad, greens, nuts, quartered citrus, dried fruit and crudites. Save-on-Foods has a superb bulk foods section for all sorts of bits and bobs. For added class, wrap it all up in a pretty kitchen linen that doubles as a sanitary placemat. Avoid anything that could even be considered 鈥渓iquid,鈥� as I have had my beloved dips and hummus taken away when clearing security many times. On long flights, keeping your immune system elevated with good food is important; the air you and everyone else are breathing is recycled throughout the flight.
Cocktail hour! A word of caution: your tolerance to alcohol is greatly diminished at 40,000 feet, so easy does it. The greatest invention of the 21st Century is the 鈥淐arry on Cocktail Kit.鈥� There are two different kinds, one for the classic old fashioned and another for a proper gin and tonic. Each teeny kit contains: a mini bitters, cane sugar, a bar spoon, linen napkin and a teeny tonic syrup. Order a brown spirit of your preference for the old fashioned, or order gin and soda. To kick it up a notch, bring orange slices for the old fashioned and two dollar store hard plastic rocks glass for mixing and ice. Perhaps enjoy some tamari almonds or a mini cheese plate you brought along?
A word on bubbles: anything on an aircraft that contains air pressurizes during flight. Drinking too many carbonated drinks on board is not good for the tummy.
Dinner time: This is where your creativity and commitment to the cause truly shows. How to turn ugh to wow. You are at the mercy of the airline at this point because you need something warm and substantial. These meals are generic to suit everyone. You can, however, gourmet it up with some fresh arugula, grated cheese, hemp hearts, nut toppings etc鈥�. Here a little lemon or lime will change the profile of the dish by adding some acidity, and mini pepper and salt grinders with good quality seasoning will do wonders!
May all of your mile-high experiences be forever improved. Stay tuned for my next instalment of this column as I traverse the beautiful country of Scotland on the craft distillery and artisan cheese trail. Selfless service for my treasured readers. Until then 鈥� Slainte!
