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COLUMN: Forging bonds with our kids

Slow down and enjoy a bit of one-on-one time

Last weekend we inadvertently started a new 鈥渢hing鈥 in our house: One-on-one time with the kids.聽

It鈥檚 been on my to-do list for sometime, and as the girls get older 鈥 they are 11 and 9 鈥撀爐here鈥檚 more and more drama to contend with. I鈥檓 sure it鈥檚 due to many factors, but from what I gather from friends with both boys and girls this tends to be less of an issue in their home.聽

Suffice it to say, a little away time for the sisters is by far a greater break for mom than either of them could ever imagine.聽

For us, days with exclusive one-on-one time tend only to happen when someone is sick and home from school, or a special request is made around a birthday.聽

This past Sunday I had a chance to hang out at home with my youngest while Big Sister went cross-country skiing for the day. And it was heavenly.聽

Fighting between the two of them has been escalating in our house for months. Some days it feels as though my head may explode if I hear 鈥淲hat are you doing in my room?!鈥 one more time.聽

I mean that. It might. Quite. Literally. Explode. So, a few days ago the Little Sister and I had some quality time. And by that I mean we didn鈥檛 do much of anything.聽

And it was fantastic.聽

We started off with a haircut, or rather the culmination of a haircut as she couldn鈥檛 sit through the entire job the night before. We cleared the livingroom and stretched on yoga props while she told me all the things she wanted to do when she started gymnastics class this week.聽

I made banana chocolate chip pancakes while she played DJ in the livingroom. We ate. We danced. She did cartwheels and round-offs and she choreographed a floor routine. We danced some more.聽

We cross-stitched foxes and ladybugs. And then we bundled up and went for a walk to the corner store.聽

On our walk we stopped and chatted with one of our favourite neighbours, jumped in countless icy puddles and climbed over snowbanks. We picked up litter and sneakily put it into a stranger鈥檚 garbage tote. We spent at least 20 minutes deciding on what brand and flavour of throat lozenges to buy and another five choosing two small pieces of penny candy with the leftover change.聽

I was unhurried and, for what felt like the first time ever, happily letting everything unravel as it might. We took the long route home and she trudged along the top of the snaking banks of crusty snow edging the streets until we found our way back. We barely spoke the entire time as she savoured her minty candy.聽

At the end of our little expedition through Valleycliffe, as the sun was going down behind the mountain, I looked at my daughter and felt I knew her in a way that was somehow different than ever before.

I can鈥檛 quite put my finger on it, but our day of doing 鈥渘othing鈥 amounted to a whole lot of 鈥渟omething.鈥澛

A something I鈥檓 eager to repeat. Again and again.聽

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