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The beautiful collaboration of Nicole Holofcener and Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Nicole Holofcener has learned a few things about Hollywood over the years. That attending the Oscars is more fun as a guest than a nominee. That when someone just says 鈥渃ongratulations鈥 after a film, they didn鈥檛 like it and don鈥檛 want to tell you.
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This image released by A24 shows Jeannie Berlin in a scene from "You Hurt My Feelings." (Jeong Park/A24 via AP)

has learned a few things about Hollywood over the years.

That attending the Oscars is more fun as a guest than a nominee. That when someone just says 鈥渃ongratulations鈥 after a film, they didn鈥檛 like it and don鈥檛 want to tell you. That getting to work with your idols is one of the best perks of the job. And that your problems don鈥檛 go away once you put them on screen. But, even so, it can be ridiculous fun to watch great actors play out your plights.

Since her debut, 鈥淲alking and Talking,鈥 Holofcener has time and time again gone back to a forever friend and muse to help bring her thoughts to the screen. Then just over a decade ago, entered her orbit. Like everyone, she knew her as Elaine 鈥 almost obsessively so, she said. But when they sat down for dinner, she quickly realized Louis-Dreyfus was nothing like Instead, she was more like her.

鈥淪he was nice,鈥 Holofcener said. 鈥淲e talked about the script. We talked about our kids going away to college. We both teared up. I felt like, 鈥榃ow, I鈥檇 be lucky to have this woman play a version of me.鈥欌

The film was in which who inadvertently befriends the ex-wife (Keener) of the man she鈥檚 dating ( ). As soon as it was over, they longed to do it again 鈥 though 10 years was a little longer than they'd hoped.

For 鈥淵ou Hurt My Feelings鈥 (in theaters May 26), Holofcener landed on an even stickier scenario: An author overhears her husband saying that he doesn鈥檛 like her latest book, sending her into a spiral of doubt about her talent and her relationship.

鈥淚 found it to be an utterly captivating notion because it鈥檚 like an infidelity, but it鈥檚 not an infidelity,鈥 Louis-Dreyfus said. 鈥淚 was considering how devastating it would be, as an artist myself, if my spouse had been absolutely and totally lying to me about his reaction to whatever I was doing. I would be mortified.鈥

It鈥檚 something Holofcener thinks a lot about in her own relationships. Some years ago, she actually had the experience of dating a man who was crazy about her but didn鈥檛 seem to like or get her movies.

鈥淚 tried really hard to have that not matter,鈥 she said. 鈥淏ut in the end, it really mattered.鈥

After watching 鈥淧lease Give,鈥 her 2010 film about a couple who fill their pricey furniture store with bargain estate sale findings, she remembered the first thing he said was that the old woman was really cranky. She was floored that that was the takeaway.

鈥淢y movies are so personal to me,鈥 she said. 鈥淚 couldn鈥檛 understand how someone could get me or get my sense of humor or my values or what鈥檚 important to me and not enjoy my films. I still don鈥檛 have an answer to that.鈥

In 鈥淵ou Hurt My Feelings,鈥 Beth (Louis-Dreyfus) is a moderately successful author living in New York City with her husband Don ( ), a therapist whose confidence has also been shaken at work, with some memory gaps and unsatisfied patients (Amber Tamblyn and David Cross play a very unhappily married couple). Beth and Don also worry about their son (Owen Teague) who, in their eyes, is floundering in his career and personal life.

Louis-Dreyfus was able to draw on to help paint a believable picture of this couple, who like to share food 鈥 even ice cream cones 鈥 much to the horror of their son.

鈥淲e both felt very strongly that we really wanted to depict a couple who have been married for a long time but were still in love in a believable way, you know? Not saccharine and lovey-dovey,鈥 Louis-Dreyfus said. 鈥淭hey鈥檙e very bonded to one another.鈥

The film contains acute observations about family, marriage, gift-giving, artistic neuroses, mid-life crises and parenting adult children. It鈥檚 funny and poignant and sometimes gnawingly uncomfortable and has an enviable cast of great actors, including Michaela Watkins as Beth鈥檚 sister and Arian Moayed as her husband.

The budget was small, the shoot was quick (22 days) and the circumstances were sometimes challenging. Holofcener tested positive for COVID-19 and spent several of their precious few shooting days directing remotely from an iPad.

Filming in Manhattan with famous people can be its own headache too. Louis-Dreyfus remembered one difficult scene in which her character has just overheard her husband鈥檚 confession and has to walk out of a sporting goods store looking nauseated and dry heaving on the city sidewalk. Across the street, there were paparazzi taking pictures.

鈥淚t made me feel very self-conscious,鈥 Louis-Dreyfus said. 鈥淲hy would I want pictures of myself vomiting on the street?鈥

But they got through it and on the whole it was a lovely experience. Holofcener even said it鈥檚 the most fun she鈥檚 ever had on a film.

鈥淢aybe it鈥檚 getting older,鈥 she said. 鈥淚鈥檓 calmer. A little more confident.鈥

She loved when Louis-Dreyfus would ad-lib and innovate in scenes. One of the biggest laughs in the film is one of those impromptu additions (without spoiling, it involves a conversation about Botox).

"She gets the tone. She always surprises me," Holofcener said. 鈥淎nd her face just kills me."

And both were delighted to get the chance to work with who plays Beth鈥檚 mom. It was a particular coup for Holofcener who cites 鈥淭he Heartbreak Kid鈥 as the movie that made her want to make movies. She even got to meet May, Berlin's mother, at a screening.

May has seen, and loved, the film. And she's not alone. After it premiered earlier this year to fantastic reviews and audience reactions, A24 decided to give the film a nationwide launch. This is both exciting and a source of anxiety for Holofcener, used to smaller openings.

Since her first film put her on the map in 1996, Holofcener has always done supplemental work, writing scripts or directing episodes of television, from 鈥淕ilmore Girls鈥 to her most recent gig doing two episodes with Bob Odenkirk. But they鈥檙e not just paychecks 鈥 she would do it more if that were the reason.

鈥淪ince I don鈥檛 have scripts that I want to make very often, it鈥檚 a great way to keep going and meet new actors,鈥 she said. 鈥淚鈥檓 pretty picky. After 鈥榃alking and Talking,鈥 I got offered things. But if I didn鈥檛 like them that much, I just didn鈥檛 do them. I guess it鈥檚 always about quality of life more than money.鈥

Holofcener grew up with a significant connection to the business: Her stepfather, Charles H. Joffe, was a talent manager and producer of most of including 鈥淎nnie Hall鈥 and 鈥淗annah and Her Sisters.鈥 Her mother occasionally worked as a set decorator too. And while it was true that Joffe paid for Holofcencer鈥檚 schooling and helped get her PA work on some of Allen鈥檚 films, she also thinks that people tend to give too much significance to that part of her biography.

She鈥檚 even read articles that claim she was mentored by Allen or who was her teacher in film school for all of three months. This is a source of embarrassment for her because, first, she鈥檚 pretty certain Scorsese has no recollection of this and, second, she remembers him falling asleep during one of her shorts.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 think he cared for my work,鈥 she laughed.

Besides, in the past three decades of making films, she has carved out her own space that is uniquely and perfectly hers.

As Louis-Dreyfus put it: 鈥淣icole has her finger on the pulse of human connection and the complicated nature of that connection. And as a result, she tells extraordinary stories.鈥

Lindsey Bahr, The Associated Press

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